One year anniversary!

 It is already the one year anniversary!  Honestly it doesn't seem like it could be a year already, but in another way it seems like it has been so much longer.  When I think about Chris, it seems like I just talked to him yesterday and doesn't seem like it could possibly be a year since I said goodbye!  But when I think back to his sickness and everything my family has been through, it seems like it was ages ago!  I miss him so much everyday and would give anything just to have a hug and kiss from him and ask him all the questions the kids and I have about him.  I try not to have a pity party for the kids and I, but sometimes it is just so hard.  It's not fair for us to keep going on without him.  I hate that he isn't here with us to watch the kids grow up.  I know he would be having so much fun with them right now and it makes me so angry that he can't enjoy them with me!!!!!
Well I didn't come on here to make this a depressing post.  Actually the day was anything but depressing.  I had talked to the kids about what they would want to do for the day.  We decided it was going to be a happy day and we were going to celebrate daddy's first birthday as an Angel!  I asked the kids what they wanted to do that day. We could do anything, go to Chuck E Cheese, Planet Fun, Incredible Pizza.......anything!  Well they chose to do none of those things!  Instead they chose to go fishing.  Since this was daddy's birthday, this is what he would have wanted to do.  So this momma (who has never fished by herself or taken a fish off a hook in her life) took the kids out for our first fishing trip together.  I had hoped that no fish would be caught, but I was wrong!  They did indeed catch several fish, which I had to get off the hook!  It was very comical to watch and I will never be doing it again anytime soon!  But the kids had a blast and it put a smile on their faces so that made it all worth it!

That evening the kids decided to make wax candles and put notes to daddy inside of them.  When the notes burned, the smoke would deliver the notes straight up to daddy!

While I was putting them to bed, they all hugged me and told me thanks for making the day so special for them!
I miss Chris so much, but I know he is watching over us all!  I see it everyday it little things and I feel a little better knowing he is here with us even though I can't see him anymore!